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maggiems @ 2009-11-07T15:13:00

hey my love!
I send you love all greetings from bremen. yesterday I went to Janice and I bremner to me their apartment views. totally sweet! sometimes I miss it on my own to live. I have my flat benefits really are, and in Hanover ego could probably afford not to live alone, and I would isolate myself because certainly a lot more than I do anyway to time. but on the other hand, has sometimes halt to even their own dirt away and if you left the apartment clean and orgdentlich then you know also that it is so when one comes home. ichj stay until tomorrow here in HB because Rachel Birthday celebrating. I'm so beat time out very well come to brighten my mood on a noticeable. I have to try again the beautiful part of Hanover to see, because often I go through the city and think to myself, that there really is nothing special. and I have again set up something better. I mean I got everything I need, but I think I could with wenigebn and simple things to do all more beautiful. just more at home.
deshalbn I'm looking forward to tomorrow shcon I denek I will not stay as long in the morning more on HB, so I still make it home what can.
I'm looking forward to the Christmas season. I'm thinking that I maybe in December n small (very small) Tannenbaum buy. we can place it in the kitchen and very spartan decoration. Just because I do not spend much money for something like that, but I think it would cheer me up.
übnrigens I was yesterday in Gehrden. the post was nothing important. only ne medical bill that I must send it to papa, but that's it. advertising. have not washed and now I finally have clean clothes, and cheaper than in the laundromat was it.
R. bugs me still pretty. I'm actually on Thursday indicated quite clearly that it my time is not very good and I'm just simply depressing. I know containing not what I wanted to hear from her, but I got the feeling that I did not take seriously. Mir gehts really dirty and I would quite here almost describe as a live Kriese. but she wipes the gesture with ner away so casually. yes is not all that bad ..... somehow annoys me mad and disappointed. something I do not understand at best friendly. and if we stelae, then they talk and talk and then I sit there and always come to say no to something. Well maybe I should not get too excited about it as me, but I just say yes good way it is. and I accept that our friendship's just become so superficial (vlt. always was ???!). On Monday
is my only semester also, so I'm free. I think I'll be times that the PC attack take. Just in the morning now and say that I've forgotten, or that I thought that my sister had already picked up the PC or something. the already will not be so angry .... dassich him since August as did stand and yes he gets his money and I need to really stop him time to send insurance.
check off just one thing after another. Tomorrow I will sort out and clean up my room again and things. I have the feeling that my überqillt room sometimes, it is not so full, I think it is just disorganized. have considering whether to me for Christmas no matter how great Billy do shelf. I kan put there something more pure, and I think vlt then even more right if I've more or less shelf ... and so expensive that also do not.
achja Stephan has recently asked me what I am 18.12. (My birthday) do. I do not know yet. My parents kojmmen yes at 14.12. again. (I have to think up what a lot again, have no idea what Gehrden prepared for cooking, or at least paint a plate or so ...) The 18th is a Friday, and there could be out celebrating, of course good, but is dependent also goofy as it may be that many people have gone back to the home are Christmas there. Although I am 21 - and 22 uni yet, but very many others, have since nothing more ... hm .... celebrate and January is also stupid because of exam etc. naja is still somewhat time-out. Well in any case wanted stephan well with me birthday party .... How about that? is nice, but I do not know if I will ... or I know so well that I do not want him (his best friend is the way that Fritz, who always wanted to have my address and also the time (still?) was wanted of me. Well let's see if I friends celebration, I invite them vlt one, however, is in celebration of december always stupid because there is money anyway scarcer than scarce. because of Christmas and New Year etc. ..
naja have to think about it again easily.
well I'll now Rach again for help Slice ... I register the day again. I hope you gheht good!!
BTW: another 5 days until I go to lilac mind! should I slowly let me think ..... I pack up:)

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....weiß nicht was Liebe ist...

I think all I want to achieve in life is normal. I want to live a normal, I want to be normal, I want a normal family, with small house dog, two children, nem man and n jobs. a bourgeois life, a happy family. everything I never had. I never had a happy family. I reveled in the luxury and exceptional. Please do not understand me wrong, this is far from bad, I had all I could do to me, except the one thing I really needed vlt have, love. I wonder if I ever know what love is. love for me I feel alive, at least, nothing. no, just the contrary vlt, hate. disability compared to my hate, hate towards my body. I want to order. gereglte conditions such as mans say.
the moment but I'm going in the opposite direction.
I realize that I sepp the history of time have not yet. and somehow I come slowly to me something ridiculous, because as long as we were not together. however, was the foreplay just already a few months longer.
is clear it not as bad as a few months ago, but how I shall get him out of my head? I would like to see him again. I would like to know if he really did no more feelings for me, because he writes for me in icq actually far too often. I would like to be able to read thoughts. I once told him that I eventually want to ask something he thinks what went wrong is. but I think it does not want to know more, or I think I know it already. he just wanted me in bed with. I know that it is probably not an easy man to have a relationship, but a little understanding I will just already have with me.
what hinnsicht me in the somewhat annoying is that R. (my so called best friend ....) apparently not interested. she never wanted to hear the whole story. and each time when her ego was telling annähnernd I did not really feel that they are interested. it does stop at just as if it were not bad.
oh yes I was on Friday in Oldenburg, the birthday of Deike. that was the first time I had since months back. Strictly speaking, the first time since my last meeting with Sepp ... was bizarre. just run through the city and think every minute two, yes Because we were there and yes we kissed .... but it was about. when I was at Deike wars nich so great. was okay but two comic moments were at it. For instance, I'd also like to Deike described my view of things. for it is nunmal ne common friend of us, but also because I had the feeling as though they were not interested. okay I can live with, even if not I find great, because I know not what Sepp told her. Well then as we went to bed guess, sometimes in whose bed sheets and bedding in whose I slept .... yes, exactly, Sepp. When she got out of the schrnak did that was also back such a small impact in the face. I think so is just bedclothes, but already containing n strange feeling to sleep in, and to think that he has slept in it as the last. she smelled soagr sometimes still after him. wars certainly meant no harm, but maybe something would have been able to think. then she asked me if I still have his address in slovakia wants. (I will not, are you proud of me ???!!!) and then she is on facebook and online comments on what sepp writes. I sit and think to myself just so that is something that he does and writes, but why tell me? they can not see that I want to not know where? I can not act as if nothing had happened between sepp and me and we are just friends again?
oh man .... anything stupid.
driving tonight after I Gehrden. I have to wash, wash in the long run because the washing saloon is a bit expensive, and if you already have any money anyway then it's really stupid when you're too lazy to half an hour in the bus and instead prefer to set for 20 € the washing saloon and since then spends rummsitzt stupid. this is the first time since mid-september that I go there, 'll go back again tomorrow. plus I have to do with the PC, I must get my coat, because in the long run it is a little cold in a thin summer jacket and I have to look after even the little things.
this week was the first in a lecture. Today I go out two to which I still do not. So I have since my absences have also been used. naja angry does not help now. and head in the sand does not stick. I myself just made a list on the things I've written that I'm looking forward. Unfortunately, as yet only three things on it: 1 This weekend in Bremen 2nd next weekend in Mannheim third Mama and Papa come again (never thought that I as looking forward to it .... but it is something a lot easier, also financially. probably not much but something.) I know now something short list. but I'm going to imagine me a few things. can also be little things, such as cinema or something. or a beauty day. something small that lets me get through the day. Punch and Christmas market I can also look forward to more. you have ideas yet?
well I'll make something to eat, and I have three already in the uni. fortunately, only up by 6 deep breath. everything will be fine. no one pulls my head off.

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maggiems @ 2009-10-27T23:00:00

ok I need my fucking life sometimes get to the series.
ie a list of my problome (or whatever you call it)
- money. I have to save again. I have to minus out of the damned out. I currently live too much too much to the eye if I do not see the danger I see the danger not method .... this can not go on anymore. and let's be realistic, I'm going to get money in the coming months / years not by a miracle more, this is my father too stingy. well it came this month many unexpected cost up to me, but still. I think if it were to get out then I walk me determined so much better. I will return money in envelopes to pack up and divided me so. The visa card is in my desk and is not taken, my father is angry because stink anyway I so much purchases. I told him this month'll just say that I had to buy four tomes for the uni and they were so expensive. what else I can think of no. and it was so I had to buy a few books, but unfortunately I got me a hose and a lot of food bought it .... I'll try again
plasma donation to ..... I dunno if I still can so often go to braunschaweig anfürsich but would not be bad because the money is .... all in all months at the rate of 150 euro. (But that is the monthly maximum, probably I'll go donate less often, but at least about 18 € per donation. And we can all 3 days .... )
and I will go and nothing to buy more but use up my supplies, and fill it with money in envelopes and leave my EC card at home, then I can stand anything. I habs but ever done in part from the negative why not again .....
- Uni: ok I habs been concealed, but I mean to make a non-housework. if I'm quite doll pitch then I am expelled. the method to suck ..... I need to finish my housework, that's really not much work, if I remember times as a day to stake my focus then the gegssen conditions. and then I kan only hope before Gande right. I've been wondering if I should do quite surprised, and so to do it as if the messy post. I just do not know how nice the teacher is. no idea what I do when I'm exmatrikiliert ...
may also play truant no more. ensure that the semester started three weeks ago until I have already condemned many absences ....
- sports: ok I will remove that dsa is one, but I'll just go in the next few months probably can not really afford a lot of vegetables, and will support me mainly noodles and rice .. ... s just cheap. Well, and if the already must be then I can also try more often than usual time to run around the maschsee. not jog, because would I leave helpless ears, but they go. these are after all, two miles
- Other: I have to drive to Gehrden and look for the post. I was in fact almost 6 weeks since gone. and I can wash that is cheaper than in the laundromat. and I have to pick up my PC because of the repair and return finally to the insurance. I have not made clear from geldmange. I have no idea there are obs ne deadline, but if that is over then I'm fucked. namely, did my father said I had made. habs but nciht made because I have no money and because I do not know what that costs.


ahhhhh life sucks!! can you give me, please NEN ass, that I do that?! if I do not do ego but only worse. and I should let the thing with my ex no longer drag down Sun It's over and it is vermutlioch good. we'll see you again, and probably not always be quite honest the way he treats me he is not the whole value. and the uni mess because of him, no, certainly not all ...... I think I'll first off my facebook profile, then I spend there is not as much time. and the people who want to reach me so they know how to reach me ....



Addendum: I've just s statement from Deutsche Bank and brought It is not as bad as I thought. (I had also feared that because only 10 € or so are on it ...) there are still 170euro it. I got it lifted first 20 and the need mindestesn to 1.11. rich. which I can sure pay to the PC, that I drive maybe tomorrow morning after Gehrden by at least pick up the PC and then I send him off. if I now until 1.11. wait or do not care now. think positive everything will be fine. Although I have to do something for it, will not improve by itself, but somewhere there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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life sucks II

ok life sucks is the 2
is I'm broke but tell that a few months ago my PC. I had to create n expert opinion and then you have to send the report to the PC incl insurance. Well have a PC also brought to the computer kleich heini. have him there but never came back because I did not know what the cost appraisals and I even had no money because of the New Zealand thing, and actually I'm now still no money. Well my father does now understandably stressful. I told my father I would have since been picked up and sent to the insurance which I have not done. habs I ever moved, because now that's what happened with my account this month and counted it and the stupid magazines abo I've let me aufschwatzen again is at -500. I just hope my bank plays with there. Well the end of the geschite: I will write this evening my father back, that I called yesterday for the insurance and they said that the process the moment. and I'm going right now on their way to the PC to make Gehrden heini pick up the thing we hope that it is not too expensive and then hope to send my money still going on and that is enough for postage. I must go see what's still on my German bank account. but there will probably still be less than a hundred euro already counted the 50 euro additional payment. today is indeed fortunate to have the 21 So another 10 days to end of month. have enough reserves and if it does not richen should then go and tell me I need to stock up REWE mark for 10 € with pasta and tomato and that will be enough. I just hope this month it will not pass on unexpected cost more. anderrum which will also mean that today I would play truant again 1-2 seminars. super I start my semester at, right? I must say if I would have less of this fat on my account that would be non-life lot easier.
achso is the worst that can happen now that the insurance says that somehow it ne time or another have been that I missed .... then evaporate the K **** on.

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maggiems @ 2009-10-20T19:13:00

Hey!

I'm not at the moment really like to write. I feel not like that. Sorry I just bleating back around.

Well so what's going on: first

University I am totally unmotivated again. Here, the uni has only started 2 weeks. Have skipped today. But I've cleaned up my room a bit and I will continue to do the same .....

second Our shower is broken. The water pressure has never been particularly great, but since Ner week or so is very minimal. You can take a shower any more. Moreover, the water is coming out warm for about 30 seconds and then cold. I asked the caretaker said it wanted to take care of schonmal and also drum, but that was in August and still got nothing. That's why I called yesterday morning, the janitor, and said the house next door would always tag on the n gas fitter and he would send the so-clock by 15. So I was at two-thirty here and I even removed the mess and the kitchen looked ok. Three Clock passed. Three-thirty the bell rang. I go to the intercom. And this brings us to 3 Below is the NDR, if he could come up. ? I just thought of the idea will not make ne survey. Whatever. Well turned out the guy is from the GEZ when I'm not registered. I boycott the GEZ the following reason I think is also understandable: I get no student loans. And until a few years ago it was so general were all students, pupils, apprentices, etc., free. Meanwhile, however, only student loan recipient is exempt. I'm not against that student loan people are liberated. Grants are ne great thing and I can halfway understand why I get no student loans. But it just took me down that I have the feeling that there is no more student discounts but now only student loan discounts. So I pulled myself as I am from Oldenburg to Hannover signed out of the GEZ.

Well I can not lie well. I'm not the guy left in the apartment. TV and radio and everything was off and doors were ajar, so that would have seen it either. Well I then added that I've ne n radio and laptop. He then said, "Well, we say they live here since March. This has irritated me since I really here in the apartment since March and I live because I assumed that my roommate has to hold logged since March and has stated that he lives in ner WG. Else could I "not explain. In the end, me holding gelabert wide and I can pay extra now 50 € now and then I signed up for radio and laptop. I know there are only 5 € per month, but 1 I will see one and not 2. I have no money. You know looks like my account ....

Well then I have the same first again Check Out ne filled (incidentally, the only thing you can not do online. Can re-register on and you are online ...). But I already have a lot in the internet read that it is extremely difficult to get out there to come. I'd just say

I will have to make no radios and the door. Or should I say living here only since October. Or have the devices since the first of October. But as I said I can not lie well. As I said I'll unsubscribe from December. Containing only have read quite often that the cancellations not accept. I have no desire for such a back and forth scribble. And it is annoying to hold the 50 euro additional payment. And if I might have bad luck again but Stasi / GEZ man at my door. I am now already providing information on what I write as a reason to accept the order cancellation.

Well, the installer is of course no more, I surfaced from the concierge phoned again this morning and said he would have said that the installer would contact me. Although he has not, I think, but good. Is dependent only annoying because I would otherwise have not even on the door. The installer has otherwise not reported yet so far .... I'll give the a week, then I'll call again and then if nothing happens then I'll go to the Tenants' Association and then there's trouble.

Sun brings us to the 4th which worsens my mood. Natasha, a friend of mine has been studying since September in Scotland. Her father has lost his job in the spring and therefore can not support their parents financially. She went to Scotland because they were not in Germany came in the Biostudiengang (she has passed her and Abi has just NEN average of 3.7) (even if she does not admit this, but it's pretty obvious that she studied so in Scotland. yes there is nothing wrong with you). They told me there there would be no tuition fees and they will halt all means study marine biology, what we in Germany can halt only in the master and before that one must study normal bio. I've asked before how it intends to finance itself. Her parents pay nothing. She thought about job and NEN student loan. Well, I identify myself with student loans is not, I do not know in how far as collateral must have, but I thought it is they already know. She said she had on foreign student loans are not entitled. No idea, I know me not, but they will be there already have inquired. And I'm not their babysitter. It is the fix already. Well came three days then in the skype chat "to pay I'm broke and I do not know how the rent for the next month." Out of the blue Nen job they would not manage well the way the I'm terribly sorry for everything, and I'm also the head racked do what they can and I'm only came to the conclusion that they first International student loans is to apply (which she has not provided non. Not even one taste. Just as I know them for convenience. But I have not accused you of course. Does it even now not on.) And for 2 . NEN Student Loan is trying to record. And if that does not work and it does not come from money otherwise they will try to halt the semester nearly stay around somehow and will then try to switch to the higher terms to Germany, because it's my experience much easier NEN study place in Germany to get, and then they will get their student loans guaranteed under the German and with the tuition fees they certainly get the series somehow. No they will not. It would be her dream to study in Scotland and they would manage somehow. She was there already in counseling at their university and they know nothing. I want to keep their only realistic. I think one of the Problems is that it is so that I pay Scotland during the study but no charges have not studied it well when the returned to the state to pay. I do not know. She had always told me beforehand that there would be no charges. I do not know what that is, but if they would stop now to study in Scotland then they would have the fees for a semester immediately pay back. I know that they already n another German girl at the uni and I know they've asked how that makes the stop. Indicated they would be too rich Professorentöchterchen n, and we would have not all of the NEN rich Daddy pays for us. Ouch I can say. The slap has been sitting. My father is a professor and I financed my entire education. Living expenses and tuition fees. However, I have to tell him of war "only" the maximum rate of Lower Saxony, student loans, so he pushes to anything in the A **** and I finance from the 650 euros per month which I'm all self- . books, holidays, food, rent, utilities. Everything except the tuition fees. I know that this is very generous and I think I also know what money's worth is. But she did just as if I sit here in ner Villa and the whole day would drink only champagne and caviar would eat. I then said nothing more magnificent. We should have 22, I think in the age to know what they say and what not even if it's just a bad, but I did it when she was still in Germany said they will often ask for funding. If it does not do that then I can not help her too. Was just in sight for me, what this amounts. But hurt already condemned. And ..... from one of my longest and best friends I then got her a few things said such as scholarships, training funds, Auslandsbafög etc. you've picked out for the left and to her they said was to look at the times. No, it could have just no time, they now had to write emails to friends .....

accordingly Well my mood is now even more in the cellar. I could almost cry grad. Wanted to call with Roberta. But they just do not have time because it must work. I do not blame her. 'd Just keep doing good just to talk to someone, just because I am currently not very well.

Well I hear now rumgemeckere on with mine. Sorry that I inundate you but I had just returned from the Leave the soul.

Oh, and riding I do now is not this semester. Is also good in view of the GEZ additional payment, etc. ... is a pity but I can not change now.

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maggiems @ 2009-10-05T10:23:00

hey!
I'm back in Germany. I'm going to try the daily rest in a few photos and upload rauszusuchn and write a travelogue u. 'm just cleaning up the room and organize for the coming semester, so I do not have so much time. has to take me n the city now NEN calendar and at 12 I have a seminar.
sepp wrote to me yesterday and we made small talk but ok .... But even if I still do not trust me write so completely: I think I'm almost over him:) the three weeks in New Zealand have done me good. I could not to the internet all the time so it was almost not present.
a brief survey, I'm just wondering about whether I am this semester again for the ride from the port to log unis. the costs 120 € for the whole semester. I'm still in the minus. I have to see how many times the same bank account to my German is still on it, but if that would make it again containing 120 euro less ....... (I do not really have. I have to compensate so my account!) On the other hand, I know that I will ride to do well against the depris. other disadvantage is it's Friday. otherwise would have I freely Fri if I go there to ride and I can not go away over the weekend. So what do you think?

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maggiems @ 2009-09-18T15:26:00

Hey!

So that with the trip we have been resolved. I've decided to ride rather go to. Although not quite as cheap, but definitely cheaper than this trip. Yesterday I sent an email to the riding and I will take the same drive into the city and eat with me because daddy for, and my mails to see whether they have answered me. have seen)

now I want here but sometimes I write about in recent days like this: And I hope that tomorrow I can go ride already. On Saturday I had breakfast with Sandra and Roberta. And then I ran to the train station because we were of course much too late because I've met up with Tascha. And together we are driven to the airport. Natasha is now studying on Monday moved to Scotland to and I do not know when I see them again. Already feeling strange but totally cute that they brought me to the airport. Yes the flights are all gone well in everything. The flight from London to Auckland was quite long. We had a stopover in LA but I spent almost the whole time because I had a window seat and I wanted to ask my two neighbors do not always endure, or they have often slept .... well I survived habs. The New Zealand English is sometimes used to. But like all in all I mean you know, even if I think I prefer the American English. On Monday I arrived here and then my parents have me picked up from the airport and we drove straight to an Albatross Resort and albatrosses have been observed. Then we drove to the Larnch Castle, the only castle in New Zealand. Yesterday and the day I was with my mother in the city I've made a new top, but I think that's it what I will do my clothes here. Now even the ride now and then a coffee and the rest comes back into your account.

Yes state of mind to my soul I can not say much iwie. I do think Sepp yet, even if more than clear to me that the whole is something over. Even if we meet again.

Sorry, I must sign off now would otherwise approvable more. I try to attach photos, even sometimes!

All the best!

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maggiems @ 2009-09-16T12:18:00

Hey everybody!

I ended up good. Flight is fairly smooth run even if he was damn long. The bank statement or something I do not even show had on entry.

Yes now I'm three days in Dunedin with my parents. Yes and I remember why it is a distance of half the world is good for us all: Dad thinks I should do but any trips with overnight stay in a hostel. Yes I would also like to stop, unfortunately, but it costs. He is moving over on me because I still have not bothered drum. Yes, I did not because I had not before. I do not know what he thinks sometimes where I am to the herhaben money. If one has only 650 € per month and all of them including rent, electricity etc to pay then there is not much left. But of course if you as much money as he has in the account then you have to do so no idea whether the food next Week can pay or not. The fact that I eat for about 3 months only of pasta, rice and tomato sauce it is probably not clear. I can cry and puke at the same time. And now he wants to impress me stop this fucking trip ... I should stop driving for a few days in any city here in the South Island and he always makes allegations only because I would rather hold times should take care of drum. I will say right now a ride in the city of Starbucks put me in, because there's WiFi and figure out what cost me the fun ....

That 's just his typical Igoranz ... yesterday he had also bad mood, but if I'm in a bad mood then I realize that most of the experiments and then stop to be extra nice and they just do not leave out other people, but obviously, my dear father was not so grown up ....

is New Zealand's otherwise quite nice. It's just spring flowers and everything. I was on Monday on an Albatross Resort and I have watched albatrosses. Landscape it is a dream, although I am glad that I did not have to drive the bike here is very hilly. My parents' house is beautiful. Small but cozy. But also very American. The supermarkets are very American. But good.

Internet, I've not, unfortunately. I'm writing this on here just in Word and I will post it immediately after. I have no inet in turn is also very good because then I can not go on facebook Sepp since. I still think of him often. And I always think if I am not him at some point during the year but will attend. But let's be realistic and reasonable. 1. no money second no time (not earlier than in spring) and 3 why hurt yourself.

That's always struck me the other day time I find myself in the last years to a complete self-destruction trip. It is all soo matter. And why I should probably to take even less time thinking through.

Well unfortunately I have to go, but I try as soon it comes back to you to report! I miss you, and to read your messages. But I think of you! All the best!

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It’s a brand new day for the first time in such a long long time I know I’ll be ok

Hey! R.
still asleep and I'm sitting in the kitchen and take the opportunity to write again. It has indeed with me quartered relatively spontaneously and wanted to go again last night and now it remains up here tomorrow. I honestly does not quite so, because I still have to do some things and I really have no time. but I'll just throw out this morning, it is to shop and then I go do my stuff here.
today maybe I need to do it again after Gehrden go to fetch my coat. mama has meant I would need it. I've seen it has so average between 3 and 12 degrees. I need as a cloak? or fleece jacket and reaches ne ne north face jacket? is not particularly stylish, but maybe.
I must write the same ne todo list. oh man I still have so much. I think it will ne a short night.
Sandra comes over tomorrow to have breakfast and still brings me to the airport. I am looking forward it. it's really become a good frendin and I am glad that I have. oh man I can not even believe that I've been in 24 h the way to the airport'm ....... I come at 4.10. again, I think I can report aberich auh times from there. I am so with my Mac, and I hope there is somewhere open WiFi or a cafe with wifi. I give my
sandra schlüsel then it can look a few times after nala because steffen I trust my flatmates as not quite. he will feed them already, but make litter box clean, clean up and strengthen its fressnapf are not. I just hope that they are in the apartment do not run away übern, because he will not learn in that, otherwise I think he is pissed .....
So I do now look at the work. I'll report the latest from New Zealand !!!!!
've loved you my sweet!

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maggiems @ 2009-09-09T22:09:00

hey love her!
just a veeeery short message: I was today and I looked into Gehrden after the post and there were no bad letters. only the new semester ticket and ne medical bills. I have to stop because R. is here. I'll get it going again soon.

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2 AM and she calls me cause I'm still awake, can you help me unravel my latest mistake

Hey!
ok I have to again write a few things from the soul. So the friend of my parents just called that mitleriweile three letters waiting for me. No idea. One could be the semester documents. another might be by the German bank because I have some time ago applied for online banking. the third could medical bill of 12 be August. this is even quite likely when I think about it. The homework I still have not delivered. I'm afraid. I fly to New Zealand on Saturday. I have to write this damn homework done. Is always a miracle when sies takes now. would also be ok if I pass with 4.0. the main thing I insist. I could say that the Post has returned and I was gone and so have noticed only now.
I've made no later than Thursday to go there because I have to wash urgent. Yes I'm flying on Saturday already. I'm really scared. I mean before the letters not before the flight. New Zealand I am happy. I just hope to get a clear head.
The monetary problem has been solved by the way: my grandma gave me kindly paid 300 euro. Although she knows nothing of my money problems, but they wanted me to stop subsidizing the trip. now I'm on my German bank account is about +650 on my bank account and € -500 €. My father has not written a letter that he take on the financial cost. so I should get no problems on entry. I'll try not to spend in NZ so much so that I can balance my other account as soon as possible.
I do not water as I do if one of the letters that I de-registered am. I am sooo stupid.
I'm really most recently wrote a mail to the Telephone Counselling and I also get pretty fast response back ne. I have the answer again, but I had been non iwie it was powerful, but I think it has much of a step.
ok I must breathe deeply now. everything will be fine. there is a solution for everything and life is so or so on.
I'm just a little anxious when the really bad news are out of college that I unfold together. as you have now noticed already I am not in a healthy mental state, and before I even scratched. I am indeed for about 8 months "Clean" and it will stay with God, but I'm a little afraid that I'm in an extreme situation. no, because I can not think at all. we are all good.
I'm told that I was written before last sepp Sonnatg and asked me when I visit him? I was somewhat perplexed. I ahb only be written if I had won the lottery. dannach but first I have googled as best as I get there, and what it would cost me approx. (About 100 € for the bus trip, and the best would be 16 euro per night b & b ...:) I do not know in ner. I miss him. just try not to give him the urge to write he is online. I mean I must be reasonable. I have no money. even though I now spend in NZ hopefully not all the 650 euro. I do not know, I think, of course, not so much to him, but I do miss him anyway. and then I will have him, even though I know perfectly well that it is unrealistic.
I feel like I am in the last few weeks back worse. 've spent more money than I wanted. unis sliding surfaces in front of me. eat, puke, starve.
on Friday I was celebrating with a friend Vici from a pro ana forum in Hamburg on nerve bunting party. I've really enjoyed it, but iwie, the evening ended differently than planned. 've drunk too much, had allegedly with 2 rumgemacht guys (not at the same time !!!!), what I can not remember, and I also vomited, because I can remember, unfortunately .... just wanted sunk into the ground .... well I think vici hath not taken me too bad. I hope at least. angebelich I'm probably disappeared for a time with the ne-five minutes, but I do not think that what has happened. I do know myself too well. would surprise me very much .....
yes so all in all, my life sucks. can probably be as together. cold and I am also.
noon tomorrow so I am a friend agreed to cook. vlt-creating I have to drive it Gehrden dannach yes to. In the morning I finally read the damn housework done and then in the evening / late afternoon I go to get the recipes from Gehrden the doctor and the letters and wash.
Nala, my cat is curled up just ran to me. I will miss them so. I have the little sooo much! it is real at the moment one of the few things that still keeps me alive. that sounds so crass. I mean I'm
only 22 years old and somehow I expect it from me already that I live my perfect to get the series.
oh I go bed early to now. must still make as much in the next few days!

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Sometimes I wanna scream, scream I wanna be anyone but me

'm mad now I just finished my entire entry is deleted .... so again.
The friend of my parents after the post Schaur has just called and said that post has come for me from the uni. I fear that the notification is that I failed, and exmatriekuliert am. I did the housework that is still not released. It could also be the semester documents for next semester. no idea. last semester when I'm rattled by ne test, then came the bill until the beginning of the new semester. I'm going tomorrow to look after and Gehrden. what else I will probably remain difficult. if I failed really, I'm dead I'm and even blame. I am sooo stupid. but when I'm rattled by last sem ne test, then came the letter until later. no idea .....
I'll write tomorrow morning finally this stupid housework done, then I'm going to throw it because Gehrden in the mailbox and at night I get a visit from a friend.
my sister has been announced for a überaschungsbesuch from Sunday to Tuesday. I hope nothing bad from the uni is because if it is then what I do not know if I can audition what you ..... but on the other hand, I'm looking forward to it. only needs to clean up my room yet. I do not want them to find something that the eating disorder or whatever is related finds.
I think in recent weeks again to my ex often. I miss him so much. great now I sit here and cry again. and eat everything inside me. I only play it all before that I'm fine. In fact, I'm depressing, uni is shit and the eating disorder takes the upper hand again. sometimes I just want to stop only the time and very loud scream. I think so often of sepp. every day. I play through everything in my head again. search error I made. I look at my photos of him on facebook to. it flies in the next days in Slovakia. funny the thought that we then return to are one continent, and it theoretically would be much easier to see. I wonder what it would be if I would see him again. quite by accident, or if he would just appear here, but I think this only happens in the film. great now I sit here and cry and think all the time I just want him back, I'll want it back. Not a day goes by without I'm on his Facebook profile and see if there are new photos of the, and if there are none then I watch the old ones. why I love him still? I'd love to talk to someone, but I have no one. I think I nerve my friend Sepp anyway with my whining. and my friends know nothing of the matter which happened at that time with friends. I will also tell them not, for I have the feeling that they have any compassion or that only remember when they look at me. I mean a two good friends know, but that was it. I also do not see as often because they live far away.
now I'm also a catchy: maria mena "i miss you love" very fit. Quote: "Why can not you love me I'll change for you" fits like a **** in bucket.
I'm going to bed otherwise you're my laptop ...... still in tears

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Zensursula and political apathy

I am otherwise not necessarily a friend of political blogs, but the open letter from the (former?) Spd-member Torben Friedrich the SPD parliamentary group with respect to the sensitivity of the subject "Internet locks for child pornography" has my almost complete approval. Almost only because I can not recognize that he has now resigned from the SPD actually.

Not for long, then in the Saxony state election, soon after election. And never, since I must choose, I have such quarreled with me, whether I would like to vote at all.

I'm not really a friend of political blogs, but the open letter from the (Ex-?) Spd Members Torben Friedrich to the parliamentary group of the SPD in the Bundestag has almost my absolute acceptance.

Not long to the election of the Saxonian parliament, afterwards the election to the federal parliament. And never before, since I'm allowed to vote, I feel unsure if I would even like to vote. The 7th

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Hold your own, know your name and go your own way. And everything, will be fine.

Hey you!
So the letter was not so bad .... thankfully I'm sitting still at a Hausarbeti I should actually have give ... I hope to God that my teacher will accept tomorrow. You can also deduct me ne note because of the delay, but if she did not do it makes me have a serious problem .... but since I will not even think about it.
Yes otherwise I'm just writing on the packing list for New Zealand. The money problem has probably solved: I have this month already 130 € on my German bank account überwisen coming and coming again to about 315 €. These are still about 155 € through plasma donations, such then I can show about 600 €. I recherschiert and have read that 200 € to bring charges "(which is indeed the case with me) and a credit card so I luckily got rich. So would the flip. and I'll try not to show everything, so I quickly get out of the debt again. I see a faaaaaar little light at the end of the tunnel. :)
I'm going to make me a plan for the next few weeks, 4th soo many things I have to be done. Tag you the feeling that is a überollt mountain of work? that mountain in front of the huge and is paralyzed and is not know where to start? how it works so I often ..... sometimes I wonder whether to study the teaching for me. it is all so theoretical. and if I am I need the teachers never before. and then I think of my old favorite teacher, or someone had me going when I was brought in and then I have tell me exactly what I want! I just want to be. it's just damn hard to turn over and over again to remember.
Since Tuesday to Wednesday or my roommate moved away. I mean I really like like steffen undim comparable to my old flat this is paradise, but if he is even now on how much dirt falls away crass he does. how many dishes and simply dirt in the bathroom ... not nice ... Well at least I've already brought him something. :) But I'm really anxious as if I'm in new zealand. 1. I'm afraid that the cat because he is taking her only dry food, or because he does not clean litter box and is thus ill and 2 that the apartment will be in chaos. I will make my room door. because he has nothing to look inside. but the kitchen and the bathroom should not moldy. vlt but it falls on how much I'm clean ... no idea. I hope so.
yesterday I've only been working on an info organizers. Unfortunately there is no gled, but great food at noon. then briefly picnic in the park with his girlfriend and then with other friends to Maschseefest. was a bit strange And I was not there long. Janice was there and I think she's still mad at me. but I see a not apologize. she is angry because I had lately not so much time for them, or I've hardly reported. but I think this is just to amplify the story then with my Ex, my parents gone and I had exams. I kin see no excuse for me, because I just needed some time for me and it would indeed could report it. Well so is the whole climate angespant just something, but I will focus first on me now. The vacations are now already half over. so fast can go on.
Well I log back later!

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Should i give up, or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere...

Hey!
I was back in the last few days quite undisciplined. bad very bad. at least I was in the national library and have since finally settled my debts. Tomorrow I'll go back to Brunswick with Natasha and I hope that I can donate plasma. then this week are in fact already 20 euro more. I must be the same as or tomorrow morning to call again and ask if my blood levels are generally ok.
yes otherwise there is not much new. with a few friends yesterday I had a drink and after that even with Fabian on the Maschseefest in Hanover. Was quite nice. only is it once again become clear Fabi that wants more of me but .... I find it quite nice, but nothing more. called me just now also a friend to ride on, find me the aiuch more than nice. I have not been tuned, although I would really like to once again sitzden horse on NEM. and this brings us to the question of today: WHY, I mean WHY andauernt fall in love with any types inside me that I want nothing to me, and not the right one? Oh Fritz has also sit back a few times called again. you'd hear nothing from me. arrrrghhh. and as I remember Aaaron, a friend from Iowa, has been recently reported in my own case, he'd be in berlin. ran between us something. is indeed for ages ago, but I think I may soon open ne liste ...
yes the eating disorder .... I do not even know how long I'm already eating disorder when I think about it now so, almost forever. the doctor or therapy, I was never Deshlab. It is also never got out of so much that I was underweight or so. now it is a part of me which I accept and probably even more pronounced in more or less as there will be.
yes else has reported sepp again. again only small talk. I wonder if it strikes him that I am not in touch with him and he only with me. I do not know. I mean it is indeed now been playing for a few more weeks ago. me and is recovering well. In comparison, the same as I went dannach. he comes vlt in the next weeks to Oldenburg. I'm not afraid to ask him, but he has girlfriend at a joint, Deike, on the bulletin board written "SOON!" so I am almost at once he comes before her slovakia yet to be blö to pick up the bike .... no idea what to think of it. I'd almost see him happy again, now with the distance but on the other hand .... probably yes but nothing has changed and that he somehow wants to try again then he must say it, because I've done more than clear that I've fallen in love with him.
I'm in new zealand from 12.9.-5.10. so who wants to have a card to contact me:) I'm looking forward to it also. finally leave. finally relax and finally get out of here. I notice that just soo much as I must get out of here. just to see what else. and even if I did not think that I would say I'm looking forward to my parents. That's soo ages ago that I was with them, or even on vacation. Dunedin, New Zealand, in the city where my parents is a student town. I'm looking at times I thought facebook, vlt somehow gibts da ne group or side of the plain and vlt since you can touch with people already contacted. Just that I think a few people there that I can do something. at my age. have no desire to be with my parents all the time there. decides to throw him some day and celebrate alone is boring. hey and who are white vlt the New Zealand men really very nice, or at least nicer than German and stupid amis!
no idea what to write else ... are just stress again with ner girlfriend Janice, but the story too long and annoying as that I now want to write on ... but it sucks now anyway. I eat a lot of time back inside too much in me and love someone with whom I can talk. how well I can throw up myself here ..... and now I'm sitting here with my pizza, which I hope not just throw up again and I will hear schmaltzy love songs and feel sorry for myself
So take a deep breath, everything will be fine.

PS somehow I could not post last night .. no idea why it did not work, well, but here we go ..

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Ilona Christen is dead source

Ilona Christen is dead

The presenter died after information from the "Picture" refers to a fall in a hematoma and septicemia. Christian was only 58 years old.

Photo: Cinetext

Ilona Christen is dead

Ambros Her husband Christian is quoted thus: " ; For my wife it was last not always easy. She had a strict life, has a lot of work. Ilona is now in a better place. When she left, it seemed as if she had already completed. "

Ilona Christians had reportedly hosted a number of years until 1992, the ZDF television garden and was changed in 1993 to the private channel RTL. Until 1999, she was there to see in the talk show "Ilona Christen". In 2000 she retired from television. At that time she said she wanted to shoot in future writing, and travel.

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Heidi Klum is round & round Source: www.viviano.de

Los Angeles - Heidi Klum is concerned that she no longer recognizes her husband Seal after his tour. The supermodel is pregnant and every day a little bit thicker. Since she has not seen their loved ones a few weeks, this should be on the look of his wife on his return rather surprised. Heidi, said in a U.S. TV show: "Especially at the end of pregnancy is one huge. I was just thinking that I have not seen him for five weeks. He will come home and probably say, `Oh, hi! Nice to meet you! Where would be my wife? "

the children Pair but no further. Heidi says, "Absolutely not. Two girls and two boys are perfect! "They've also carefully planned so that there was this result. The supermodel said: "If you do on the day of ovulation Humpty-Dumpty, then you get a boy. If you do just before ovulation Humpty-Dumpty, it's a girl. "

Seal and Heidi Klum have been married since 2005. The couple has two sons, Johan and Henry. Currently, the model is pregnant again from her man. This time it will be a girl. From Klum's relationship with Flavio Briatore is already daughter Leni.

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A Change Is Gonna Come

Hey everybody!
I am organizing alive. and it goes up ...
so what I've done in the last 3 days: 1 I have written applications for the internship. Fingers crossed that I get something else.
second I started to do online banking, and I've October a standing order of € 50 per month on my German Bank account until July next year. these are then 500 € which I do not turn come, then I can refer back in July and I have my savings account balance. yes or I'm
for August and September, paid money for New Zealand. This means that although my account in Aug and Sept are again at -500, but I can not now. I must be sure that I have money. vlt and I need indeed all non-money and can transfer the rest back. when I've cleared my account then I will request removal of the disposable. I no longer slip into the red.
third I vlt October n student assistant job at the MHH. the job makes the time still a girlfriend of mine and she listens to it but the middle of sept. Two sets they want me. I hope I get the job war, even though I can only start from the beginning of October. because if I get the job then I can balance my account faster and have a little more money, so I can save something. works if it saves me on a flight to the USA to visit my host mother. would be nice to the next summer can make.
yes or I'm leaving tomorrow for blood plasma donation girlfriend with ner. there are also cash. is not much, but still. Well look first if they want me.
yes or I've already NEN cleaned the kitchen and made time for the eye specialist. 'm just doing my todo list to work.
what I create today will:

• submit applications call
• Deike
• start essay writing

so ran to the work!

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maggiems @ 2009-07-24T14:53:00

hey!
I just want you to know that I hate my life sometimes .... actually quite a lot of time .... So the following: Deike, a mutual friend of mine called and Sepp straight. She asked what I would do tomorrow night? I just thought it wants to do something, come and see me in Hanover or so. So I said I did not know it yet, am only in the afternoon at work NEM and then I have nothing for. yes ..... Charles, Sepp's best friend / roommate is flying from Frankfurt back tomorrow and still need ne sleeping because she's not there she asked if he can stop sleeping with me ... Well I could say nothing more. Well, he will call me stop and then we'll see. I'll go in any case to work out that I've promised Annkathrin. I must rinse off all right. Steffen gets not visit ....

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hey!
sorry that I so rarely reported, but I get nothing on the line. 've cleaned at least once in the last few days, the kitchen, the bathroom and my room. was sorely needed. yes or I'm always very tired. 've just now again half an hour simply slept. well I'm just ne tomapirin taken headache because I have. I hope she does soon.
yes or I've last talked to Sepp. He has written to me. again was only small talk, but I did not write any more. or I did not even know what to say. to remove a live hand I think that it is dependent on it from my best, and on the other hand, emotions are of course still there and that is why I enjoy these talks any more ... very confusing. Well time will tell. well I wanted to write again for an extended contribution, but the motivation is just iwie again whistle went. I think I'll lay me down now, and I hear alittle bit music. Tomorrow I'll write more again! sorry ...
the way, is nala! :)

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hey!
yes so we talked yesterday. Sepp has written to me in the evening on the facebook chat. and who is now thinking it would go to important things, like an answer why he sometimes behaved like shit / behave, think, unfortunately, wrong. He wants to sell jeans to Germany and asked me how he should do well on good races ..... have responded quite taciturn. why ?????????? I mean he did not have time bye said, or even just "hey, btw I'm back in America." He has not even asked how's my condition. I am furious about it now that I've answered it there at all. but whatever. idiot!
yes or I had the last two days visiting a girlfriend at home has just stress that has einquatiert spontaneously with me. was really quite nice. good distraction. Today I am clean and tidy first just on. must be sometimes.
yes else am I to eat only at the time. Frustration eat. not good. have in the last days increased 2 kg. can throw up. Tomorrow I shall again try to fast times. but unfortunately my cycle for time so funny that I could always fall over very quickly.
must slowly I begin work home with me. did not relish. have time for so many things on my todo list are.
've at least I cleaned up my room and immediately I'll clean some more and sort out. I always find when you clean up the apartment then acknowledged is somehow in on itself.
So now get to work!

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grand my last request and let me hold you

Hey love her!
First thanks for reading and commenting! since its really great. Yes
Sunday and today, thanks to copious facebook stalking I know is that he has arrived safely in America. he was not online anymore, not even icq so we have not even spoken. I'm trying to convince that it is better that way. and I feel much better today than Thursday. I emphasize so torn between him completely out of my life, or write to him yet again, and after chopping what he thinks what went wrong. because if I did not ask him then I would always ask me wa went wrong. if I had done something wrong and what.
The exam was so-so. was ne ankreutz exam, so I really can not assess forever. Because
Firtz: I've answered him non. the thing is that I find it quite nice, but nothing more. but I do think is that he wants more of me, but I thought I would have made it very clear that I want to be friends only with him. I will not answer him, either. He lives anyway not here in Hanover, that means we'll see you again soon no longer eh.
yes otherwise there is not much new. I from skype and with my parents. they seem to go well in Australia. Friday and Saturday I was celebrating. did quite well, but I have to save again. Nala, our cat, well you go. she is already grown and soooo sweet! she cuddles always turn to me when she sleeps. Cats just have to be angelic.
yes that would make me cry with the real times. I am now back in the city and I will stay here the next day, but vlt on WE.

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So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me.......

He goes well today evening. I've read on facebook.
and then he goes without that we say goodbye before. just like two years ago.
no idea'm just pretty much at the end. no more. I'll write tomorrow psychology. I think I'll get through the night.
I did not want it as complete. we were happy .....
I do not know if I can make it through at the moment. a friend of mine zickt just around the extreme and really annoying.
Fritz has written to me yesterday and again ne sms, he will have my address. I have not yet responded. apparently he goes on vacation and wants to send me a card ........
I just can not straight.
studied two years ago, in May 2007, I'm in Oldenburg:

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Don't bother I'll be fine

So here are the whole story. There I spent my first two semesters and moved to Hanover dannach. Well, in the second semester, an instructor tells us that a group of Americans for 10 weeks and you come to Oldenbrug quasi could apply to become "buddies" from one to easily take care of something for which, what to do with those who help when they need help etc. naja and Sepp was my buddie.
I have a general scwäche for Americans, I was even 1 year exchange student in Ohio dannach and I also spent two summer there to work and now I study American Studies. if you can love affairs, my ex-men / whatever, look at you find a "slight" tendency to AMIS. * G * naja so Sepp 2007 came to Oldenburg and we have also made friends well, but he had a girlfriend at the time, Lace. He rumgejammert all the time only that he would miss her and she is then led to a week extra to Oldenburg. Well I quickly realized that I could fall in love quite easily into it, and went on clearance. would not have been so useful. Also at that time was have not entirely at peace with myself annoyed friends, etc. Well I thought of when I do not so much with him and the others I do not fall in love in him. Nope. I'm obviously still in love with him. contracted men are off limits for me, and I'm always quite cautious regarding men. I honestly thought that even he does not like me really. well I'm even more distance to go and after 10 weeks he is again back in the States and the whole was for me now, not as the pain of separation and to be honest I got him pretty quickly forgotten.
I then moved to Hanover and that was the final thing eaten. also had no more contact. and that was ok Sun
until last year. in April (?) 2008 I was at some time in the morning on facebook online, and so did he. and he has written to me about this chat. in America it was the middle of the night. Well we have talked several hours, and it was really fun, and I think he was pretty drunk. the essence of the conversation was that he was then in love with me and that he would love me forever and that he would come back to Germany, supposedly only because of me. Well my experience is that talking amis much if the day is long, and they also believe that Germany is indeed just around the corner. I've found it very sweet the whole but not paid very much attention.
Well then comb-December 2008. I had the whole time, not thought of him and then he wrote me on facebook or icq, I know it does not as accurately. The day before my birthday. Well since we had pretty much back contact, sometimes almost daily for several hours but only over the internet. It was great fun to talk to him. you could talk about God and the world. Well he gave me because he said would come back to Germany, supposedly only because of me. naja habs I long believed, but not quite sometime but it was all concrete. naja our conversations were then in a certain direction and sometimes I had the feeling that we had we bought real hospitable towards us, we would pretty quickly wore no klamtotten more ...* g * well if I've blocked all but always something, but you can still flirt. I mean I'm trying to be realistic. I know I have myself in recent years changed quite a bit and I am sure he is. Well, nothing helped, but I'm totally in love with him, but never told him directly. because I was afraid that yes but somehow nothing would come of it. naja talks went on, flirting went on, and one day it was then a week before his 09th after takeoff early May, Germany he wrote me he would love me. I asked him how he could be as safe as, and he said he knew it ... I've tried my ankh still climb as not so pure and at first to be seen.
Well then in early May, he is on a Wednesday flown to Germany to study again in Oldenburg for a semester. I live in Hanover mitlerweile so I'm on friday night went out had previously been a common friend, Deike, agreed that I could stay with her. Well we have entertained little something are drunk then to celebrate the city and back towards the dorm at about four or apartment is, fortunately in a direction. So we have two distance away holding hands in front and the rest with chaperones 5 meters behind us. usn have a nice time, unfortunately, was away much too short and too soon we were standing outside the front door, and unfortunately, the other a minute later, but had a good night kiss I still get. : D Had Deike face it maybe should have seen .... In many respects it is sometimes unrelaxt something and so I've been so half-expected that I get from her dressing-ne, but no, she just smiled at me when we were in her apartment and has meant "Well then we see you again so often in oldenburg.
Well the next morning I then Deike sepp and had breakfast and are still nervous girlfriend then pulled together by the city and Around noon, I had returned home because I was still a date. 've still got a farewell kiss.
sepp and I did on Wednesday agreed on it again, this time as a couple and it was really nice. are in the botanical garden in oldenburg us have been entertained, etc and it was just a perfect day. Unfortunately, the afternoon had to return to Hanover because I drink with sandra to test their wanted and this appointment was really long and I wanted to cancel non wirklch. So I returned to Hanover.
we were in between daily contact via ICQ, were given in both StudiVZ as assigned and everything was perfect.
the first time would have long veeeery long time that I got to involved with a man. I have not really had good experiences with men. some time ago to me is a "friendly" meeting them a little too close and did not know where the limit is, could not let his finger from me. was an experience in which I have to Kabbe still pretty, but I usually come to mitleriweile clear.
naja at the weekend on it has come together with 3 friends to Hanover sepp have stayed here one night, he was even allowed to sleep in my bed (as I said I have a problem with and let no one near as easily ran at me ... .).
am on Wednesday it was because I went to oldenburg Ascension Thursday and I was free there. I had kept open to me if I with him, about Deike, or even spend the night there. have picnics in the park with friends and I was up to 10 still at uni Deike because sepp still had and he then picked me, I brought things to him and we are in the city with three people celebrate and gone.
to 4 are sepp and I head toward dormitory geganegn und wer hätte das gedacht, wir sind zusammen im bett gelandet........ ja anfürsich ja nicht shclimm.... nur ist mitten drin die sache mit dem "freund" wieder hoch gekommen und ich hab auf einmal komplett geblockt. ich hatte ihm das nicht erzählt, denn ich will es einfach nur noch vergesssen und meisstens kann ich das auch, aber in dem moment war alles wieder so present. ich hab panik bekommen und mich komplett zurück gezogen. ich hab mich dann wieder etwas beruhigen lassen und hab ihm das dann auch erzählt und er war eigentlich ganz verständnisvoll, und er meinte es wäre ok wenn wir noch warten würden. naja hab dann da übernachtet, Well and we say it so he has come to its other costs, but hey it should be but please do not complain ..... I gave him then confessed that I was already in love in him, he was all the time in the morning when we were still in bed suspiciously quiet, but he was also somewhat cold and I thought he did is simply mu de etc. ........
I had to go home at lunchtime because I was there verabretet with my parents and I am alone then went to the train station, and he's been left ... He even said I should call him when I was there that I, too, but generally was pretty quiet.
naja dannach I also needed some distance, WE also had to be on again look at my parents and we have now and then while talking via icq, but had identified no time when we meet again, and I had the feeling that our discussions always ICQ surface floor lord be. whenever I'm asked when we came back we see only a superficial answer back ..... He then had his status changed StudiVZ no longer awarded. Although not solo but not awarded.
Well the rest is again below in more detail, but the short version is: after a few days at some point of the surface small talk I went on the offensive. have asked him what was going on. passiet naja and the rest is below what has ever since.
I'm gone on icq konfrontoation, have asked him what was wrong and he just said he would not be willing to be friends girlfriend. blablabla. I was pretty pissed off, because it does a lot like "I Wolte only with you to bed and now it's all over," sounded. have responded and so I thought he would be childish and we would hire me just blablabla .... Well this went back and forth for a while until I feel like at some point run out or had no power to discuss more and I've only said that I'm going offline now.
Well then nothing more from him until I dannach him on WE early in the morning after too much alcohol and too much celebrating a mail've gechrieben, because of what it should, and that he could talk to your views clear text, because I think it's great in the momen texplained special. here's the answer:

Maggie, I'll tell
in English because it is easier.
I'm not that upset with you about the incident the other night that's not the big deal. The thing that I was concerned more about was just the feeling I got, Whether real or imagined, that you were infatuated with me, Which is a bit of an anxiety for me, considering my short stay here. I did not mean to implicate that all I wanted from you was sex, at all You are a very dear girl to me, and I really did enjoy our time together, and I would, in fact, enjoy seeing you again. I just did not want you to get the feeling like this was a committed relationship, because that's an impractical and downright dangerous road to travel down for both of us. So please, let's continue talking, and hopefully we can see each other soon!
lg
sepp

so what can we say. I got him invited to Hannover then again by mail, what was but no reaction. then got a couple of times to talk about it Deike, with not too much because I wanted to move in, because we are both friends with him. they already said that he suffers under it, I ask mitlerweile MCIH but if she has not only told me to love .....
had been the mail from un to contact via icq where I've asked him but if he wants to come hannover. I did not want to put him under pressure. until he then suggested a few weeks ago to meet. I was always arranged in oldenburg friend with another, and I pushed him in quasi with, and take as Well as this was indeed below.
meet twice more since we had contact via ICQ, the first time take a few days after that, but because he wanted only that I Deike calls and tell her that she should call him yet because he has no money left on the phone. .... I've ignored, I'm not bimbo. and the second time he has thanked for a travel guide. yes he is from August to one year in the excessive make something slovakia FSJ. and when we were together I had a tourist guide for the purchase slovakia english. and because I wanted to stand here nciht around, because he reminds me of him I got him where Deike, and that should give him, because I wanted to give him personally. but would become a little funny. since we had no more contact. I was torn and then suddenly came this invitation to the party last weekend .....
and he commented on my facebook status .... no idea ...... I sometimes get the feeling that he did not know so exactly what he wants ......... vlt just have grass over this situation and if he is in slovakia then I will talk directly to him once what he thought on it went to wrong. but what is nciht. for if he is in Slovak, it's already too late to change anything to anything. vlt but we can not exactly build then at least something like friendship. no idea whether I want it, but the idea that we can have no more contact, I can not stand in the moment too.


yes thats the story ,....... I know some little kindergarten, but oh well ....... comments?
today is wednesday. mitlweile I've given up the hope that we see us again. previously he was with facebook online, but I I do not dare to write it. I'm torn. think on the one hand it's better that way.

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I didn't lose my mind it was mine to give away

I'm not even gone. It was so hot and the trip alone would have been killed and he has not asked again. Yes I guess the wars now. I thank the Social event but simply just to see if something comes of it. did not come. otherwise I would have gone there almost spontaneously and would have stayed at Ner girlfriend in bremen.
if he wants to see me again, then he now has time until Friday. let's see if there is something. I'd like to see him again, but then when alone. Today I have really time to learn. It is not common that the weather is soo good?
my kitten is on my chest and purrs. she is so sweet. it's really the only thing that makes me get up in the moment yet. because someone has to feed them, yes.
next week I have the exams behind me and then I'll go first to the countryside to the house of my parents. Although I have no internet, but I got the garden and vlt little more rest. vlt and I think not all the time for him.
oh man ..... I'd love to ask him if we meet again .... but I will not run after him. and that's what it would be. I would All can hold like to end on a good note. but I guess the border is to relate to it, but that it ends just as 99% to no good note. sounds so desperate that now but I would really like to spend a night with him again to make everything good again. it sounds damn desperate.
so I must return to reality in the back. I was already half the day yesterday in bed around and have not done anything.
So what should I do now: Rinse

• Linguistics learn
• psychology learn
• suck and wipe clean litter
• make
• Topic Write 2 pages

sounds like an exciting day! I get easy again anything on the series. depris shit.

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If you're gone

Hey!
So first thank you for your messages. Life is slow here in the booth. Is it more beautiful and more motivating to write something when you know it will trigger further read. So
the subject of money: The only possibility I see at the moment is this: save up to September as stupid. I'm looking as far as possible from the minus. I once carried gerechnent, if I really have no other spent more than eating and fie fixed costs such as rent, etc. then I can come up with good luck +400 € out in september. But that is really that I can now spend each week only 10 € ..... I know it's not exactly super, but to do it. with discipline. and I should at least try as much money as possible to save. and I must try it simple. and if that fails, then I will do my savings bank account in September to become red coat and the money to my German bank account überwesisen. for that is at zero and I do not use it. I'm no worse off than now. and I can show a bank statement on which a plus stands. I get also at some point the security deposit from the old apartment weider. this is actually papas him money but I can also say yes only to New Zealand that the money is there. I can teach only non-issue. alledering me because I can not rely on it ....
I know simply no other solution. My parents know nothing of it. udn So can I will not anhauen UACh. because I would get the next few years again and again allegations. but I must try it.
naja theme 2: the party tonight. which is in his dormitory. and I'm torn. 10 minutes ago I was traveling with me now and now I am in nee I stay here. I need to learn. the thing is that I have to 22:35 the last train back must take to Hanover. and the clock is the first party of 20 going on. I can not exactly stay with him and girlfriend Deike, ne I do not want to ask if I can stay with her. because I'm over it pretty clearly indicated what is the problem, and nothing came of it and invite myself so I will not now. and so I would be a total of 4 hours on the train for two hours I'm there then. or have I decided if he anschreibt me if I am then I'm going vlt but .......... I've always my day is, that reconciliation with anything anyway ..... : P naja
then to the other type, I gave him ne sms now written, that I am very flattered but I feel with the other complete history needs to work and that I find it quite nice. that I really can not imagine anything with him, I just did not say. sandra girlfriend ne common, which I him (Firtz) also met have told me yesterday that he has probably asked for my addi. I know even if she has non-given him, I do not think so, but either I get a love letter this week or he stands before my door ........... ahhhh ......... I, nevertheless, with Sandra talked about the history and Sepp said, quote: "I want him (Sepp) again," while Fritz was standing next to us. if I was going to do with it that would be merely a distraction. and it would not fair.
well I'll probably even learn now ... :.. (I will nciht it is anyway so hot

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7th Hörspielsommer 3.-7.12.2009

Hörspielsommer place from 3 July to 12 July 2009. Clock and on weekends from 17.00 as of 15.00 clock radio plays for children are presented. The evening program begins 20.00 clock. The Leipzig Hörspielsommer is Germany's biggest festival for radio play friends of all ages. Ten days of Hörspielsommer eV invites to free listening in the Leipzig Richard-Wagner-grove one, there are a total of 70 productions playing.

heard at the festival in the afternoon program for children age-appropriate radio plays. Subsequently, the contributions presented the radio play competition from 90 entries 19 pieces were selected. The evening program presented radio plays with daily changing themes. For the first time this year the summer radio play competition held at the festival for children and youth items. On Saturday, 11 July 2009 between 17 und 19 clock presents the competition pieces on the lawn in the Richard-Wagner-grove and the audience chooses the winner. The two festival weekends complement live radio plays, readings, fire shows and storytellers the program.

More info at www.hoerspielsommer.de

My personal focus is on the following events:

The start on Friday evening, 3.7, I find that exciting.. So the weather, my work and the general mood is favorable, I would certainly not later than to "something more to the left please. 10 quickies for a country with a declining birth rate.

Sunday, the 5.7, is Western Night -. But I'm already agreed to barbecue with friends and consequently does not know if I could then be released on time.

Tuesday, 07.07., The evening motto "Chess" and since my old man the day before a birthday (which is the reason why I am the Monday's theme night "Free Republic" can not visit) and also chess player, I run even propaganda related to the fight together including Boris Spassky - to listen to Bobby Fisher.

Thursday, 9.7, is back evening Crime -. Which I am particularly pleased! Actually, just as on Friday, 10.7. - "The Son of nasty critters," it says and it may be pleasantly creepy. The fourth

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don't stand so close to me

Oh, I hate my life ..... My parents now flying to New Zealand for six months and I want it from mid-September to early October FS visit r 3 weeks.'ve already booked lion flight of almost 1400 € not cheap. it to me my mother kindly partially saved and the rest I got from my savings account was paid. I War of the month less any rent from my father 400 €. Of this I will still need electricity / gas pay, phone, internet, then remain approximately € 330 which I have to pay to eat and when I go away even want to or whatever. Not really much. I'm in the last few years more and more slipped into the minus, which I really am not proud of. I dispose of my incentives to glow, so I'm in good German every month at about -500. I was at it again because to get out. end of January I was at "only" -300, but then came back tax payments and I've been nervous for weeks again ........ at -500 not really great and I know that there is no steady state can be, but at the moment it is hard for me to get back out there. I'm already totally depressing and the improved state of mind my non-essential. Anyway, I'm on the phone yesterday with my father he said goodbye and then he says, "you know you have made with the entry requirements for New Zealand, not that you forget that." I've fallen from the clouds. I mean I had sought in the travel agent if I need a visa n, have also nichmal Guide viewed and you can not see the need to.
Well now he says that yesterday they show enough money for the stay must be NEN bank statement or something. haha ..... nice that he says to me so early. I could cry. I meien that are another 2.5 months. Exams and mid-July, I read yet. bsi beginning in August Septemeber I have to make 3-week internship, and who is for a someone for 4 weeks. and if I would have in these 4 week 1000 € earning around to make up even my account. I know that my father has more money than Genung. if he should borrow the 500 €, it would probably notice at the end of the month nich mal that they are not there. and he knows the non-start yesterday. and if he had told me six months ago NEM year then I would have saved even more. no idea if I "could have done, or I would have looked for a job.
and now I really should learn. I read the day after exam ... I could cry. (I did yesterday, too ....)
Oh and do not live as if I still would be perfect enough, I've only yesterday ne invitation on facebook by sepp get for a party next saturday, have been or even canceled. no idea what to do. that would probably really the last opportunity to see him. I dunno if I should go back ..... Oh and I'm still
yesterday abnd ne sms by nem friend get: "you're single, have to stay ahead of it?". We have over a girlfriend, Sandra met. and I noticed ahb Sect that he finds me more than nice. the WE was ne "party" with him and he has all the ladies ne yellow rose and gave me a red .... I said nothing. I responded yesterday to sms nothing around. I also know non Sagn what to do. I mean he is nice, but nothing more ................ nciht Help ???????

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The Stupid Jerk I'm Obssed With

A poem that my present term Situatuon are pretty much back .......

  The stupid jerk I'm obsessed with 
 stands so close to me I can feel 
  his breath 
 on my neck 
 and smell 
 the way he would smell 
 if we slept together 
 because he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with 
 and that is his primary function in life 
 to be a stupid jerk I can obsess over 
 and to talk to that dingy bimbette blonde  
 as if he really wanted to hear about her 
 manicures and 
 pedicures and 
 New Age ritualistic enema cures and 
 truth be known, he probably does wanna hear about it 
 because he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with 
 and he's obsessed with doing anything he can 
 to lend fuel to my fire 
 he makes a point of standing 
 looking over my shoulder  
 when I'm talking to the guy who adores me 
  and would bark like a dog 
 and wave to strangers 
 if I asked him to bark like a dog 
 and wave to strangers 
 but I can't ask him to bark like a dog 
 or impersonate any kind of animal at all 
 cause I'm too busy 
 looking at the way the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with 
 has pants on that perfectly define his well-shaped ass 
 to the point where I'm thoroughly frantic 
 I'm just gonna go home  
 and stick my head in the oven 
 overdose on nutmeg and aspirin 
 and sit in the bathtub reading The Executioner's Song 
 and being completely confounded by the fact 
 that I can see 
 the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with's face 
 defining itself in the peeling  plaster of the wall 
 grinning and winking 
 and I start to yell, 
 Get the hell out of there 
 You're just a figment of my imagination 
 Just get a life and get out of my plaster 
 and pass me the next painful situation please 
 but he just keeps on 
 grinning and winking 
 he's the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with 
 and he's mine 
 in my plaster 
 And frankly, I couldn't be happier.   

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OMG! OH-MY-GOD!!!♥♥♥

LIVE IT IS EVEN BETTER!! But it doesn't care!!♥
I LOVE ALIVE! ♥

I want a concert right now. Stupid, crazy guys. I want them now. Three concerts or even more.
DAMN DAMN DAMN!♥


 

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concern for Michael Jackson source MSN

The King of Pop has skin cancer ...

mega shock to the fans of Michael Jackson (50): A few weeks before he announced comeback has become known that the King of Pop suffers from skin cancer!
Jacko doctors had on the upper body of the singer discovered lesions that have been found in the investigation as a cancer. Even in his face, it should already be suspicious sites.
reported the British newspaper The "The Sun" . As early as April to Jackson hear about the terrible diagnosis.
" Michael was in the beginning, of course, very concerned," says a friend of the singer. "But the doctors have told him they could treat the cancer." Currently, he is being treated in Santa Monica by a specialist in cosmetic medicine and skin cancer.
The cancer is in connection with Jackson chronic skin condition Vitiligo (white spot disease in which there is pigmentary disorders). The fact that his various artificial skin whitening cancer risk have increased, the singer vehemently denied.
The 50 comeback concerts are in spite of the severe disease is not in danger, they say. Jackson was "fit" enough.
The treatments are to be placed so that not a single concert must fail ...

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Eiskalte Wolves on course for title Source: MSN

Wolfsburg can not be deterred from the path. VfL shoots from 96 in goal difference and also makes a giant step towards the title premiere. The torment in Hoffenheim Bayern to a 2-2. VfB has prepared the ground for the final in Munich, Hertha only slips up. In the basement KSC can suddenly get hold of 16th place, Bochum escapes. BVB is on course towards Europe.

The situation in the title race clearly favor a Magath-Elf: The VfL a point sufficient for the season finale against Bremen. The Munich argue in the final against Stuttgart ostensibly for second place, and also could still threaten the UEFA Cup. Hertha stumble against Schalke and hopes for third place. In the basement of the KSC has reported back and jump on the relegation place. Bielefeld Cottbus and tremble at the most, Gladbach can still swing towards the relegation place.

Dzeko and Grafite dominate

VfL Wolfsburg came as the leader for Niedersachsen derby in Hannover and substantiated his title claims quickly and impressively. With a wonderful drop-kick brought Dzeko the "wolves" in the lead (13). As strike partner wanted to stand back and not Grafite put with a brace after (33, 36). This in turn could not stand so Dzeko and scored his second goal (54th). The internal battle of the top scorer with his 25th Dzeko decided Goal of the season for himself. The team of Felix Magath last in the final game of the outgoing coach probably even a draw against Bremen to the championship.

Bayern In faltering

Hoffenheim, FC Bayern Munich feared for the use of superstar Franck Ribery, but the Frenchman was warming up to the green light for his role. A stroke of luck for Munich, for Ribery marked the early lead for the Heynckes-Eleven (16). But the joy did not last long as the compensation was Ba (21). In a spirited match with chances on both sides turned the game initially Carlos Eduardo (30) Toni, before immediately equalized before the break (44th).

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Source: https: / / www.jako-o.de

Last resort pills?

do children with attention deficit disorders and their environment it is not easy. As anarchists, nags, or dreamers, they fit into our hard well-organized life. And parents are sitting between two stools. Because experts disagree on symptoms, causes and the appropriate treatment. We have an expert, Prof. Dr. Gerald Huether, interviewed on the subject.

Julian is intuitive and curious. The eight-year-old wants everything know every second and has a new idea. But every fly on the wall
distracts him from his homework, in class without being asked, he bursts in between, he sits still for a minute and goes straight into the air when something does not work, as he imagines: A case for the diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder? Julian's parents are happy that she and her son for the difficulties of their difficulties with it have a name. Like countless other mothers and fathers also is not a psychological disorder common in children diagnosed as ADS. About five percent of all children will be affected.

But parents, doctors, teachers, therapists and scientists in one little more than the use of the term for a set of abnormalities. Causes, diagnosis, therapy - nothing is without controversy. Besides the most common school of thought to represent all recognized experts always dissenting views. (See also our interview with Prof. Gerhard Huether on the following pages.) Parents bring all little, except perhaps a bad conscience. They cared
too little or not at the correct Junior, had not brought up the junior or simply would give him drugs just so they could demonstrate a low-maintenance child, consistent judgments of outsiders.

increase the number of small patients who presented in medical practices due to concentration problems, cognitive impairment, impulsivity, restlessness or alleged notorious belligerence be.
But no one knows if this is not only to increased awareness by parents or teachers due. Above all guys do when combined with hyperactivity (ADHD) on the attention. The variant of Traumsuse, which is never with her thoughts on the matter concerned, particularly girls.

Because they are not as demanding in their environment, their ADS problem remains frequently undetected and untreated. In any case, the balancing act is not easy: What is an ADHD child is different from a lively, creative offspring or an ADS case of a quiet, unhurried child

Complex diagnosis - the doctor? as a detective

"The diagnosis is difficult," says graduate medical Ralf-Peter Roeder, Coburg on the social pediatric center (SPC) treated ADHD children. For typical symptoms such as concentration and attention problems, restlessness and impulsive behavior may be due to other causes. Like a detective, the doctor gathers information and therefore put them together like a puzzle to a picture. Often the young patients, for example, already strained in infancy as children scream or "difficult eater" their parents. And in infancy is usually interpreted to have first interesting not the little ones can play concentration or show fear of possible Dangers. In kindergarten and at school they make themselves as unpopular bully to act more quickly than they think.

If the teacher or the teacher, the parents in the difficult access to the child indicates, feel they quickly put in the pillory. They can also be difficult to assess whether the educational professionals have the welfare of this child, or rather their own stress-free working environment in mind. Finally, they bear responsibility for their other charges, who are to play or learn undisturbed. Parents should also be active and can create a professional diagnosis, if ...

- parents and children are suffering from the situation

- to show the symptoms

for more than six months - have begun schonvor the difficulties of the child the age of six,

- the child not only at home or only in kindergarten has problems, but everywhere.

first contact may be the pediatrician, who will transfer as a social-pediatric or child psychiatric center or to an expert in private practice. Helpful for diagnosis in addition to their own experiences are also reviews by kindergarten teachers or teachers.

The self-esteem from building: you do everything right and everything always goes wrong

Children and Young Doctors Ralf-Peter Roeder of Coburg SPZ know of the suffering of the families. The children feel that they offend, despite all the goodwill and much effort and not so everywhere, as their environment thinks that they should be. Because nothing works out, they are rarely praised but often admonished and punished. The result: the basement and must be taken with much positive feedback and praise in the therapy and home back up. Many children with ADHD also show disturbances in social behavior and suffer from reading, spelling and numeracy challenges. Anxiety disorders or depression occur mainly in ADD children without hyperactivity.

suffers the young and the parents too: They are no longer clear with their children. They doubt themselves and their parenting skills, have feelings of guilt for having done something wrong. At the same time they feel the young hard as rebellious, disobedient and constantly, without hours or days of relaxation.

need help then all: mothers and fathers in parent training to learn to see the positive and endearing side of her offspring and to understand that he is with his behavior is as unhappy as she. "Parents understand then that the normal is for her child a tough piece of work," said Ralf-Peter Roeder. They practice in training a parenting style that offers support and guidance to the young. How to deal with these children belong there but also not to expect too much - neither of himself nor the young, the expert said the Coburg SPZ. . Give the family without conflicts, it does not, either with or without ADD child

Who is to blame: genes, upbringing, environment?

about the causes of the disorder argues the experts. According to popular belief, the brain metabolism of the person concerned is impaired. Twin studies also show that the predisposition may be inherited. About a quarter of children with ADHD also has an affected parent, and more than half of parents with ADHD an affected child. Agreement among physicians and biologists, however, that ADHD is not caused by the malfunction of a single gene. The parents remain in the duty: "The brain is developing rapidly. Play the education, the suggestions by the environment, for example, the flood of Stimuli, a major role, as becomes evident predisposition, "says graduate medical Ralf-Peter Roeder.

What does that mean for treatment? Here's a particularly violent religious war is raging in the drug therapy with the drug methylphenidate, which was mainly as Ritalin, known to the public. to do only a few therapists, psychiatrists and doctors, day after day with the little fidget have opposed it out of hand.
keep Like Ralf-Peter Roeder them the drug is essential if a child does not otherwise comes to rest. General Chemistry without therapy. " In addition to swallowing tablets are for example for the little ones or behavioral training exercises focus on the program.

why parents give their children Ritalin and keep this for themselves

parents are reluctant to commit themselves publicly Ritalingabe. You have to fend off vehement hostility to immobilize her child with drugs, so that it "belongs to" adapt and inconspicuous. The affected families are, however, the positive effects: the young can concentrate better in school and comes with better. The children no longer feel like an outsider, leisure activities with friends are fun, family life gives way to the constant voltage.

However: The drug does not cure, but relieves the symptoms. It affects about 80 percent and must often be taken for years. Undesirable side effects are to be accepted. Some children also feel alienated from itself. There is also the feeling: "I'm not quite right in the head and has to take something that I may be normal."

The many question marks about the attention deficit disorder still much room for alternative explanations and treatments mean. Many parents try by "Special micronutrients, no phosphates, no white sugar, special algae. Scientific evidence is lacking. Even the ever suspected food additives as a trigger could not have a debt to be assigned.

Some children can be helped by homeopathy, as a study showed, in cooperation with the University of Bern. The classical homeopath Martina Andrich has occasionally ADHD children in the practice, which they can help. If it has informed in detail about the history and symptoms, it selects the suitable individual agents. Thus, the behavior of violent youth is significantly improved. And at a very fidgety child she saw on your next visit to the already relaxing facial features of the mother, that the homeopathic substance has brought success.

help in everyday family life

Children with ADHD can not control their behavior and regulate adequately. You need "stable relationships", which give them support:

• Provide clear structures in the daily routine.
• Speak directly to your child. His attention must first be "fetched" to be. Tell him clearly as possible what you expect of him.
• Set clear rules and check for compliance.
• , set limits, but they tolerate occasional slip-up.
• you praise a lot.
• Involve your child in many everyday work, even if not everything works right away.
• Trust your child small tasks to which it can handle by itself.
• Provide plenty of exercise and opportunities to let off steam, preferably in the fresh air.
• Provide opportunity to relax and dream. Activate as many stimuli as possible. Not always have to tootle on the radio.