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Sometimes I wanna scream, scream I wanna be anyone but me

'm mad now I just finished my entire entry is deleted .... so again.
The friend of my parents after the post Schaur has just called and said that post has come for me from the uni. I fear that the notification is that I failed, and exmatriekuliert am. I did the housework that is still not released. It could also be the semester documents for next semester. no idea. last semester when I'm rattled by ne test, then came the bill until the beginning of the new semester. I'm going tomorrow to look after and Gehrden. what else I will probably remain difficult. if I failed really, I'm dead I'm and even blame. I am sooo stupid. but when I'm rattled by last sem ne test, then came the letter until later. no idea .....
I'll write tomorrow morning finally this stupid housework done, then I'm going to throw it because Gehrden in the mailbox and at night I get a visit from a friend.
my sister has been announced for a überaschungsbesuch from Sunday to Tuesday. I hope nothing bad from the uni is because if it is then what I do not know if I can audition what you ..... but on the other hand, I'm looking forward to it. only needs to clean up my room yet. I do not want them to find something that the eating disorder or whatever is related finds.
I think in recent weeks again to my ex often. I miss him so much. great now I sit here and cry again. and eat everything inside me. I only play it all before that I'm fine. In fact, I'm depressing, uni is shit and the eating disorder takes the upper hand again. sometimes I just want to stop only the time and very loud scream. I think so often of sepp. every day. I play through everything in my head again. search error I made. I look at my photos of him on facebook to. it flies in the next days in Slovakia. funny the thought that we then return to are one continent, and it theoretically would be much easier to see. I wonder what it would be if I would see him again. quite by accident, or if he would just appear here, but I think this only happens in the film. great now I sit here and cry and think all the time I just want him back, I'll want it back. Not a day goes by without I'm on his Facebook profile and see if there are new photos of the, and if there are none then I watch the old ones. why I love him still? I'd love to talk to someone, but I have no one. I think I nerve my friend Sepp anyway with my whining. and my friends know nothing of the matter which happened at that time with friends. I will also tell them not, for I have the feeling that they have any compassion or that only remember when they look at me. I mean a two good friends know, but that was it. I also do not see as often because they live far away.
now I'm also a catchy: maria mena "i miss you love" very fit. Quote: "Why can not you love me I'll change for you" fits like a **** in bucket.
I'm going to bed otherwise you're my laptop ...... still in tears

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Zensursula and political apathy

I am otherwise not necessarily a friend of political blogs, but the open letter from the (former?) Spd-member Torben Friedrich the SPD parliamentary group with respect to the sensitivity of the subject "Internet locks for child pornography" has my almost complete approval. Almost only because I can not recognize that he has now resigned from the SPD actually.

Not for long, then in the Saxony state election, soon after election. And never, since I must choose, I have such quarreled with me, whether I would like to vote at all.

I'm not really a friend of political blogs, but the open letter from the (Ex-?) Spd Members Torben Friedrich to the parliamentary group of the SPD in the Bundestag has almost my absolute acceptance.

Not long to the election of the Saxonian parliament, afterwards the election to the federal parliament. And never before, since I'm allowed to vote, I feel unsure if I would even like to vote. The 7th

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Hold your own, know your name and go your own way. And everything, will be fine.

Hey you!
So the letter was not so bad .... thankfully I'm sitting still at a Hausarbeti I should actually have give ... I hope to God that my teacher will accept tomorrow. You can also deduct me ne note because of the delay, but if she did not do it makes me have a serious problem .... but since I will not even think about it.
Yes otherwise I'm just writing on the packing list for New Zealand. The money problem has probably solved: I have this month already 130 € on my German bank account überwisen coming and coming again to about 315 €. These are still about 155 € through plasma donations, such then I can show about 600 €. I recherschiert and have read that 200 € to bring charges "(which is indeed the case with me) and a credit card so I luckily got rich. So would the flip. and I'll try not to show everything, so I quickly get out of the debt again. I see a faaaaaar little light at the end of the tunnel. :)
I'm going to make me a plan for the next few weeks, 4th soo many things I have to be done. Tag you the feeling that is a überollt mountain of work? that mountain in front of the huge and is paralyzed and is not know where to start? how it works so I often ..... sometimes I wonder whether to study the teaching for me. it is all so theoretical. and if I am I need the teachers never before. and then I think of my old favorite teacher, or someone had me going when I was brought in and then I have tell me exactly what I want! I just want to be. it's just damn hard to turn over and over again to remember.
Since Tuesday to Wednesday or my roommate moved away. I mean I really like like steffen undim comparable to my old flat this is paradise, but if he is even now on how much dirt falls away crass he does. how many dishes and simply dirt in the bathroom ... not nice ... Well at least I've already brought him something. :) But I'm really anxious as if I'm in new zealand. 1. I'm afraid that the cat because he is taking her only dry food, or because he does not clean litter box and is thus ill and 2 that the apartment will be in chaos. I will make my room door. because he has nothing to look inside. but the kitchen and the bathroom should not moldy. vlt but it falls on how much I'm clean ... no idea. I hope so.
yesterday I've only been working on an info organizers. Unfortunately there is no gled, but great food at noon. then briefly picnic in the park with his girlfriend and then with other friends to Maschseefest. was a bit strange And I was not there long. Janice was there and I think she's still mad at me. but I see a not apologize. she is angry because I had lately not so much time for them, or I've hardly reported. but I think this is just to amplify the story then with my Ex, my parents gone and I had exams. I kin see no excuse for me, because I just needed some time for me and it would indeed could report it. Well so is the whole climate angespant just something, but I will focus first on me now. The vacations are now already half over. so fast can go on.
Well I log back later!

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Should i give up, or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere...

Hey!
I was back in the last few days quite undisciplined. bad very bad. at least I was in the national library and have since finally settled my debts. Tomorrow I'll go back to Brunswick with Natasha and I hope that I can donate plasma. then this week are in fact already 20 euro more. I must be the same as or tomorrow morning to call again and ask if my blood levels are generally ok.
yes otherwise there is not much new. with a few friends yesterday I had a drink and after that even with Fabian on the Maschseefest in Hanover. Was quite nice. only is it once again become clear Fabi that wants more of me but .... I find it quite nice, but nothing more. called me just now also a friend to ride on, find me the aiuch more than nice. I have not been tuned, although I would really like to once again sitzden horse on NEM. and this brings us to the question of today: WHY, I mean WHY andauernt fall in love with any types inside me that I want nothing to me, and not the right one? Oh Fritz has also sit back a few times called again. you'd hear nothing from me. arrrrghhh. and as I remember Aaaron, a friend from Iowa, has been recently reported in my own case, he'd be in berlin. ran between us something. is indeed for ages ago, but I think I may soon open ne liste ...
yes the eating disorder .... I do not even know how long I'm already eating disorder when I think about it now so, almost forever. the doctor or therapy, I was never Deshlab. It is also never got out of so much that I was underweight or so. now it is a part of me which I accept and probably even more pronounced in more or less as there will be.
yes else has reported sepp again. again only small talk. I wonder if it strikes him that I am not in touch with him and he only with me. I do not know. I mean it is indeed now been playing for a few more weeks ago. me and is recovering well. In comparison, the same as I went dannach. he comes vlt in the next weeks to Oldenburg. I'm not afraid to ask him, but he has girlfriend at a joint, Deike, on the bulletin board written "SOON!" so I am almost at once he comes before her slovakia yet to be blö to pick up the bike .... no idea what to think of it. I'd almost see him happy again, now with the distance but on the other hand .... probably yes but nothing has changed and that he somehow wants to try again then he must say it, because I've done more than clear that I've fallen in love with him.
I'm in new zealand from 12.9.-5.10. so who wants to have a card to contact me:) I'm looking forward to it also. finally leave. finally relax and finally get out of here. I notice that just soo much as I must get out of here. just to see what else. and even if I did not think that I would say I'm looking forward to my parents. That's soo ages ago that I was with them, or even on vacation. Dunedin, New Zealand, in the city where my parents is a student town. I'm looking at times I thought facebook, vlt somehow gibts da ne group or side of the plain and vlt since you can touch with people already contacted. Just that I think a few people there that I can do something. at my age. have no desire to be with my parents all the time there. decides to throw him some day and celebrate alone is boring. hey and who are white vlt the New Zealand men really very nice, or at least nicer than German and stupid amis!
no idea what to write else ... are just stress again with ner girlfriend Janice, but the story too long and annoying as that I now want to write on ... but it sucks now anyway. I eat a lot of time back inside too much in me and love someone with whom I can talk. how well I can throw up myself here ..... and now I'm sitting here with my pizza, which I hope not just throw up again and I will hear schmaltzy love songs and feel sorry for myself
So take a deep breath, everything will be fine.

PS somehow I could not post last night .. no idea why it did not work, well, but here we go ..

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Ilona Christen is dead source

Ilona Christen is dead

The presenter died after information from the "Picture" refers to a fall in a hematoma and septicemia. Christian was only 58 years old.

Photo: Cinetext

Ilona Christen is dead

Ambros Her husband Christian is quoted thus: " ; For my wife it was last not always easy. She had a strict life, has a lot of work. Ilona is now in a better place. When she left, it seemed as if she had already completed. "

Ilona Christians had reportedly hosted a number of years until 1992, the ZDF television garden and was changed in 1993 to the private channel RTL. Until 1999, she was there to see in the talk show "Ilona Christen". In 2000 she retired from television. At that time she said she wanted to shoot in future writing, and travel.

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Heidi Klum is round & round Source: www.viviano.de

Los Angeles - Heidi Klum is concerned that she no longer recognizes her husband Seal after his tour. The supermodel is pregnant and every day a little bit thicker. Since she has not seen their loved ones a few weeks, this should be on the look of his wife on his return rather surprised. Heidi, said in a U.S. TV show: "Especially at the end of pregnancy is one huge. I was just thinking that I have not seen him for five weeks. He will come home and probably say, `Oh, hi! Nice to meet you! Where would be my wife? "

the children Pair but no further. Heidi says, "Absolutely not. Two girls and two boys are perfect! "They've also carefully planned so that there was this result. The supermodel said: "If you do on the day of ovulation Humpty-Dumpty, then you get a boy. If you do just before ovulation Humpty-Dumpty, it's a girl. "

Seal and Heidi Klum have been married since 2005. The couple has two sons, Johan and Henry. Currently, the model is pregnant again from her man. This time it will be a girl. From Klum's relationship with Flavio Briatore is already daughter Leni.