Time to whine
Well.
Yes, well.
Do you know what is really pissing me off? No, it is not the fact that my room seems to be more a battlefield than anything else at the moment. That's just a. .. momentary obstacle.
The thing that is eating away my brain is ... writer's block.
And not the usual kind of: "I have noooo ideaaaaa ..." It is some
mindwracking ... well i give an example: I was sitting over
maths (well, exams are coming soon and everything), when some idea of Sasuke as an english gentleman and Naruto as some kind of pirate invaded my mind. At first I was skeptic. How should they meet? Should Naruto really be a captain or just some messenger boy? How can I fit the Uchiha massacre in this plot? Blabla.
In the end I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted. I knew that this fic should have three parts (I nearly shaped that thing after Gustav Freytag's theory of drama), I knew that Naruto would be like this and Sasuke would be like that and I had tons of pictures and scenes and possibilities in front of my eyes.
Heck, even metaphors came to my mind. (Y'know Naruto against Sasuke -> order against disorder -> monarchy (even if constitutive) against the democracy of the pirates... and in the end nobody should know if Sasuke or Naruto were good, plain evil or just human.)
Then imagine this:
I was sitting in my comfy chair, I was so eager to write this. I opened word.
And then... nothing. I needed an hour to write five sentences so utterly crappy, that I deleted them instantly (May they rest in peace). I started new and after I re-read the paragraph, which took another hour, I thought that the author could have been a 10-year-old trying to sound very melodramatic. And it was only the intro, without any angst or drama or something like this. A description of the ocean, whoa. That's it.
Then... my inner voice started nagging: "Sasuke Uchiha, what kind of name is this for an english gentleman? Doen't sound a bit english to me." or "You have absolute no knowledge about ships, don't you?"
I tried to defend myself with: Like good old Shakespeare has said: "What's in a name?" and "What's the matter? In this fic, my Sasuke has no idea too."
Even so, it didn't help much. The insecurity was there.
So I wrote my plot bunnie down for better days and started to work on "Wortlos".
Haha... nice try. Same here. I knew what I wanted to write, but I coudn't.
End of the story: New plotbunnies wherever I walk and I can't write them down. They keep nagging and nagging and there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do.
See. Yesterday, I had this idea with Sasuke as an scientist, who has vanished and Naruto as a police officer, who tries to find out if Sasuke was kidnapped or had gone to Orochimaru (drug dealer of the finest) of his free will, but I'm to shy to write down some sentence. Just out of fear that in the end I will find out that my wonderful idea has turned in a third rate OCC fanfiction that has absolutely nothing to do with the first idea in my head.
And while I cannot write anything, I cannot stop thinking about these stupid ideas too. It's driving me slowly and painfully mad. Arg.
0 comments:
Post a Comment